A letter to my brother...

Hey Bro' ....

Yup, yup, gotta remember the good times but also for the future of the kids gotta *create* the good and better. That means identifying the bad things and staying away from them and becoming better people ourselves. The saddest thing to me is seeing people who are just knee-jerking what was done to them and taught to them and not thinking about what life could be. Taking everything for granted and giving ugly things a pass because "that's just the way they are". It's great to make the best of bad situations but it will stagnate your life, you gotta go above and beyond and create a better world.

I'm grateful that I was able to make the best out of a lot of crappy situations throughout my 42 years but also more thankful that I could figure out how to make my situation better and the world better by my actions and thoughts. Endurance is an excellent quality but gotta have balance. We may be shells and dust but we are also water...too much dust and we become shriveled up shrunken head people, too much water and we drown. Knowing the balance between when to endure and make a situation better and knowing when to make life better is a good balance. Like with you and your ex - you guys were together for a long time but eventually you both decided that you could either continue to endure a situation or make a change that would hopefully make better lives for both of you. I'm so thankful that I have all the happy memories when Dad was alive but even happier that I am creating even more good times with my kids. If Dad had made the best out of crappy situations he never would have left Cleveland and seen all the world had to offer and neither of us would be here. Because Dad saw the good things from his childhood with grandpa and then our aunt but also the bad, he made a better life for us. I'm very thankful for that.

It is vital to focus on the good times and make sure those memories stay alive but we have to make the bad times history by making the future better. It's like telling Elie Wiesel that he's a real downer because he has talked about what he went through at Auschwitz and Buchenwald and worked endlessly for awareness of the holocaust. He surely had one or two "good" or bearable times in those years and they may be what kept him going but what really keeps him going is doing everything possible to change the future.

One of his quotes is pretty much my life philosophy:

"Once you bring life into the world, you must protect it. We must protect it by changing the world."

 

He also said: "I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."

I think that's a pretty awesome philosophy to embrace. Thankfully I never had to endure the concentration camps. But that doesn't make abuse and poor parenting a good thing. Bad times hurt but being able to process them healthily means identifying why they hurt and if they were harmful. If the bad times were caused by actions of another or yourself that cause harm, the only way to move forward is to change the actions and thoughts associated with it. That means we humans are pretty powerful if we just get off our butts! 

Another Elie Wiesel gem: "Mankind must remember that peace is not God's gift to his creatures; peace is our gift to each other". So yeah, I'm a realist and won't pretend that things are happy and great when they weren't or aren't but that's the only way to change things and make a better world. I know my world is a million times better than most people I meet because I can choose it to be and I don't accept things if they are harmful. Too many people were powerless children who feel like they are powerless adults. To cover that up and pretend they aren't they over-act with "power" they think they have. They are mean, selfish and abusive. Too bad for them because really life is amazing, wonderful and beautiful.

If I am overwhelmed with joy at one thing every day it is that I raised my kids to understand this and they do so much more than I ever imagined a human can do. My kids are the most amazing people that I have ever met, they are fascinated and interested in life yet have no problem looking at the sick and ugly and saying "that's gotta change". They don't pretend it's not happening, they don't look away and ignore it. They are not indifferent. They are action-oriented people who realise that each of our decisions throughout the day is a choice. They are so wise it awes me. All because I decided that the world could be a little different. I didn't do this, I could never have accomplished that on my own. It is simply because I was willing to identify the harmful and tell it to take a hike while embracing all of the good things that were part of my life. Utterly amazing.

As I said before, that thinking thing doesn't seem to be really big among the general population. I feel sorry for them because life is soooo cool!

Love to both of you ~~ Sis